oops, I did it again!
A few years ago, I tried to microdose LSD, cutting what I thought was a tiny strip off a blotter I had obtained from the provider of my choice. I still had my Bed & Breakfast at the time and swallowed the mini dose after work, late morning. Next, I did some office work. I imagined I’d get through tasks more time-consuming than rewarding faster under the homeopathic influence of Hofmann’s finest. About thirty minutes later, my perception began to change. I couldn’t focus. My brain felt like it was expanding. Colorful patterns began to creep into my field of vision. I’d taken too much!
I decided to lie down. Although I could only have swallowed thirty micrograms, considering the strength of the entire blotter, I was rewarded with shifting landscapes, bright and vibrant, that I can only describe as sublime and spiritual. It was a warm and friendly experience, and I got up revived ninety minutes later, like after a good movie.
Last week, I tried to repeat the experiment, this time with what I hoped was considerably less. The LSD hit me within twenty minutes. It was a different, even stronger blotter. What had I done? It wasn’t like I couldn’t function IRL, but I didn’t particularly want to. I got on the Intercity to Basel anyway. The train had not left Zurich for long when a guy got up and began to beg for money. Strictly verboten. This young man was in abominable shape, and it hurt to see him so sick and strung out. He had spittle stuck to one corner of his mouth, and he swayed as he left another passenger and turned to me. I held up my open right palm to fend him off. He passed me by but later came back, and I took pity on him. In this moment, we were both users of different illegal substances, from different backgrounds, and for different reasons.
Our exchange remains private. I am more convinced than ever that we should embrace people like him, so helpless and without perspective, lost. I felt his restlessness, his desperation. His legs were covered with big white blotches, as if he had vitiligo, and full of sores. He represented the jetsam and flotsam of our society, the people nobody wants, not even in a rehab program. I know they can’t take everybody, but this guy wasn’t mean or disrespectful. Nor was he dumb. He wasn’t clean. I gave him a bit of money. I don’t care how he spent it. I want him to know that I see him. That I don’t despise him. And that I want a better life for him.
The supposed microdose lingered until early in the evening when I took the train back home. Nothing out of the ordinary occurred though the days are getting longer!
Yours
Susanne G. Seiler
P.S. You’ll find us at the Gaia Lounge, Hochstrasse 70 in Basel (near Basel SBB main station, tram stop Peter Merian) every Thursday afternoon from 14 – 18 h. Welcome! |
